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.. I feel I'm spinning faster and faster, and that at some point I'll snap."I paused, thinking for a long moment before continuing"And the more I write, the less I seem to find anything in it. The readers become rare and gone, my stories get more and more different, standing from the crowd just for being unlike the others. Maybe there's a reader enjoying them, and I always think of this guy. I picture him, reading alone in a dark Saturday afternoon, enjoying the quietness of his home. But what's the point? The sequence of stories? I can invent hundreds of them, different plots, different characters, but they all seem the same to me. Rip the pages of a book and throw them into the air, they'll fall onto the floor, all unique, but all just the same for anyone looking at the scene."I'm making both life and writing one and the same, and they're both going in the wrong direction."That day Athena tried to console me, but I don't remember what she said. I wasn't listening. I left the Place. "Kneel." She does. "Sit silently." She looks at me with confusion in her eyes. What sort of punishment is it to kneel in the shower?I turn on the water, cold only. It hits her square in the face and runs down her body. She lets out an involuntary yip and then bites her tongue, looking at me to see if I will punish her. I lean against the sink watching the spray hit her and bounce of the tiles. It forms little puddles at the side of the tub but I don't think for a second of pulling the shower curtain forward. It would block my view.Her nipples were hard before, of course, but now they crinkle painfully. Her skin sprouts goose bumps all over. After one minute her jaw has a little tremble. After two minutes her hands are constantly making small aborted motions to hug herself against the cold. She rocks forward trying to make the spray go over her head and run down her back. I tell her to sit back on her heels. The look she gives me is one of pure desperation. This is discomfort without.
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